If you live in a pricey area or are on a tight budget, having roommates can make a whole lot of financial sense—that is, as long as they don’t drive you bananas. Which brings us to the question of how to find a roommate—and not just any roommate, but one you like or at least can tolerate and live with peacefully.
Here’s some guidance on how to pick right one so you won’t dread coming home. Or fear going to sleep.
Rooming with friends: Bad idea?
Sure, in an ideal world, you’d love to live with a fellow vegan who digs “Veep” as much as you, but being too picky can backfire. Remember, you aren’t searching for a new BFF. In fact, a word of caution goes out to anyone who’s pondering living with close friends. If said bosom buddy turns out to be perpetually strapped for cash, that long-term relationship might not be so long-term going forward. Yes, it’s totally fine to be pals with your roomie, but just understand that if it goes south you could ruin your friendship and finances at the same time. The worst kind of two-fer.
Given the perils of personality conflicts, make sure to scrutinize any prospects to weigh whether their values and lifestyle will mesh with your own. Here are some questions to ask yourself and your roommate:
Are you a morning person or a night person? Loud late-night TV watchers can annoy early birds, no matter how wryly amusing Seth Meyers was this week.
What do your weekends look like? If you enjoy hosting game night and dinner parties, rooming with a die-hard homebody might cause problems.
Do you smoke? Whether you’re puffing cigarettes or pot (no judgments), roommates need clear expectations of clear air.
Are you a pet person? Hate dogs? (Still no judgments!) Allergic to cats? Well, this might seem obvious, but here goes: If furry animals underfoot ain’t your thing, don’t consider living with a roommate who has one.
Where do you work? Office dwellers might skip this one, but working from home can be a big strain on the roommate relationship.
Are you dating? If you don’t want a secret third roommate, make sure to set clear expectations about how often romantic partners can sleep over.
Find a roommate or apartment first? How to decide
Another big question to ask is whether you plan to find a place first then search for a roommate, or find the roommate first then home hunt together. There are pros and cons to each scenario.
Prioritize finding an apartment, and you boost the odds that you can score a sun-drenched downtown two-bedroom that suits your tastes—yet you’ll be limited to roommates who share your aesthetic. Prioritize finding a roommate, on the other hand, and you boost the odds that you’ll find the perfect person, but then you may have to compromise and take that person’s ideal apartment into account—and that could prolong the home search.
In the best-case scenario, you’ll find someone who wants the same type of living quarters, which also ups the odds that this roommate will remain happy and stay put.
Where to find roommates
Here are some ways to find roommates.
Your social network: Start asking around on the safest and most effective social network there is: a little thing we like to call real life. Friends and friends of friends are great resources to find trustworthy potential roommates. Go beyond your closest pals and check with co-workers and classmates—you never know who else is hunting for a place. A high recommendation from someone you already trust is a strong vote of approval for a future housemate.
Alumni groups: Does your school have an alumni network in your city? Send an email to the Listserv or get in touch with the area coordinator. Alumni networks have much broader reach than just asking friends of friends. They can help you hunt down eligible roommates in the area—and as a bonus, you’ll automatically share something in common via your college.
The internet: Craigslist might seem like a scary way to find someone to live with, but the internet is full of roommate success stories (and, to be fair, a few nightmares). When searching, one question to keep front and center is whether the roommate candidates seem responsible. With strangers, reliability—and the ability to pay the rent on time—are the biggest disqualifiers. If your gut instinct says they can’t be trusted, don’t feel bad about giving them a pass.
